I recently came across this 2012 New York Times Magazine article about places called Blue Zones, were people have remarkable longevity and relatively little disease.
Blue Zone residents, who live incredibly full and independent lives well into their 90s and beyond, have room for casual social interactions each and every day. They take naps. They rarely rely on watches. They walk places. Lunch or supper are always shared and leisurely enough to often involve a moderate consumption of homemade wine. Life, it seems, is just not about work. They work; but life, living, community, sharing are simply more important.
In the article, Dan Buettner writes, “You’re not likely to ever feel the existential pain of not belonging or even the simple stress of arriving late…At day’s end, you’ll share a cup of the seasonal herbal tea with your neighbor because that’s what he’s serving. several glasses of wine may follow the tea, but you’ll drink them in the company of good friends. On Sunday, you’ll attend church… Even if you’re antisocial, you’ll never be entirely alone.”
“You’re not likely ever to feel the existential pain of not belonging…” What an incredibly powerful thought. What if we lived in a world where your community simply accepted you, if you always fit, if everyone was working toward the same goals? If you felt free and empowered to shape the world around you to fit?
“You’re not likely to ever feel the…simple stress of arriving late…” I deeply value punctuality and that sometimes creates stress for me and my family, despite my best efforts. There are no more painful words to hear than my children say as we fly from the house, “we need to hurry!” It is as our lives are a conglomeration of a million moments lost to busy-ness. What if there were more places where you were always on time, no matter what the clock says?
I was profoundly changed by my year in Israel as a cantorial student. Each Shabbat was the same. By noon on Friday, normal business, any bit of homework or housework, was done. Grocery shopping for Shabbat and cooking were well under way. As the sun began its descent I was well on my way to wherever we would pray – at a synagogue, but often in a friend’s home. After lots of song and prayer, we walked to someone’s house for dinner and lots of wine. We walked home, slept comfortably and naturally. No alarm clock was set. We would wake, pray, and study together. We would move on to someone’s house for lunch: challah, salads, more wine, cards, and singing. We would end with havdalah after the sun set and go out to bars or the movies or sushi. I remember thinking, “I can never have this in America. There is just too much to do.”
In my mind, to live a Jewish life is to capture much of what those who live in the Blue Zones do. We are to let go of the pressure, we are to take care of ourselves, we are to build strong relationships and nourish them as they nourish us.
Yes, there is work to be done. We are not free to desist from all that is to be done in the world – we have to do our jobs, we have to educate our children, we have to help to repair the world – but we must be kind to ourselves.
You may notice this year that we at Temple Beth El are doing our best to foster an environment where much of what I’ve described is possible. We’ve added Shabbat SongFest, a casual singalong, and a Casual Zone so that everyone can have a Shabbat experience at Temple that is extremely casual. Our preneg and Casual Zone comfortably blend into our Summer Shabbat Services where you can come and go as is appropriate without pressure or judgement. Imagine what you would do on a porch on a summer evening. That’s why we named our young adults and families with young children community, The Porch. We are building Jewish Living Groups like Bourbon and Banter and Culture Club that try to bring Jewish meaning to where you already are. These events are not yet another thing to put on your calendar, but a social and relaxed way to engage with meaningful Jewish community. They aren’t meant to create more pressure, but to create a place to alleviate pressure. We will continue to offer and expand ways for families to be together for Jewish experiences – keep your eyes open for that! See what Chailytes has to offer for adults, check out SPICE, if you haven’t already. There’s Brotherhood, Sisterhood, Talmud over lunch, and maybe something that doesn’t quite exist yet. But I’m sure that there’s a place for each of us here – to belong and to always be exactly on time, no matter what the clock says.
