It all began in 2015 when I was still renting a room inside someone else’s home. I had just graduated earlier that year but by this time I had learned a lot of important things, such as spending my time wisely and making each and every minute count in order to progress. I also learned the point of insurance and why it was so important to have it. However, the most important thing I learned was what it meant to be hungry.
At the time, I was working at Papa Johns as a pizza delivery driver and one of the benefits to this job was I could get some free pizza– if I had the chance. I say “if I had the chance” because the manager would not always allow employees to eat and many other employees wrote their names on used pizza boxes, claiming them as their own.
Yet, it was the days when I didn’t work that were the hardest, because I had not a penny to my name. I had bills up the ying yang, and lived in constant fear of collection agencies talking down to me, scaring and threatening me. I didn’t understand why they had to be mean – I was trying my utmost best to cooperate. I often worked 13-hour shifts with only 3 hours of rest and I felt terrible. Many mornings I was sick, my stomach hurt and I was dizzy. At times getting out of bed was torture because I hurt all over. I was so exhausted.
I was so busy surviving, so determined to escape this Egypt that society had built for me, that I wasn’t aware of the local food banks and pantries in the city. When I graduated I didn’t have any food stamps. Instead, I had to rely upon others until I could get them. So it was an accomplishment of sorts for when I finally got my food stamps. It was like my birthday – I’d pack up my fridge with all sorts of delicious, delectable, and precious food and be very happy.
Weeks passed, months passed and this cycle continued well into autumn. I was still very tired but if I could eat something at least once a day I knew I’d be alright. However, my hunger still got to me at times. I became very exhausted, forgetful and at times emotionally drained. When my food stamps came that 14th of September, it was the best day ever. That evening, I filled my fridge and began to plan what to eat first.
Yet there was one problem.
It was Kol Nidre.
I was so upset. How could I have forgotten the High Holidays? I had requested the time off but didn’t think much of it. How could I have forgotten the most important Holiday of the Jewish Calendar? I had just become so overwhelmed I had overlooked the date. I had no time to prepare and the holiday wasn’t something that I felt ready to welcome.
That evening at service I finally realized that I was starving. My stomach hurt and I ached all over – but it was the dizziness that caught me. When I went to bed that night, I hoped I’d feel better. However, I didn’t. I was even worse. I realized that if I continued this way, I would not be able to drive, let alone go to Temple.
So I got out of bed, went to the fridge and pulled out a block of cheddar cheese. As soon as I took that first nibble, suddenly a wave of warmth and euphoria spread all across my body. I smiled because I felt a whole lot better. I was still hungry but now I could sleep.
At Temple the next morning I explained that I ate something the night before because I wanted to drive safely. I was happy that not one person looked down on me or thought any less of me.
This experience taught me that the ability to choose to fast is indeed a luxury we shouldn’t take lightly. It is a privilege. For so many people, just half a world away, fasting is no choice. They have no jobs, food stamps, cars, or beds in which to peacefully sleep. Instead they have roadside bombings, artillery fire and assassinations. What an amazing country we live in where we don’t have to fear any of this.
Fasting is a way for us as Jews to reconnect to the brokenness which is our world and to empathize with those who live in constant hunger. Fasting helps us understand just what it feels like to not have any real hope. Fasting makes us not just better Jews, but more importantly better Human Beings.
Louis Aiello is a 33-year-old single male who has been with Temple Beth El since his conversion or as he feels “return” to Judaism in June of 2014. He began going to Temple Beth El and later Temple Israel in Spring of 2012 and was immediately drawn to the Community. Since then Louis has been an active member at Temple Beth El
