Communities Work When They Make Room for Everyone by Nick Montoni

My mother once said to me, “You can’t wash being Jewish off in the bath.” Growing up, I interpreted this to be a statement about the complexity of Jewish identity and the interconnectedness of ethnicity and faith for the Jewish people. As I grow older, I realize the statement means even more than that.

On the one hand, it means Judaism is a mark. This has become apparent with increased activity of hate groups, events like in Charlottesville, Virginia, threats against Jewish communities like those made against the residents of Whitefish, Montana, and the resurgence of old and new anti-Semitic dogwhistling, like “globalism,”“crisis actors,” and “coastal elites.”

It is this first meaning, interestingly, that makes another meaning clear. Judaism is also a mark to other Jews. We see each other. We acknowledge each other. We help and defend and support each other. And, once we have taken care of each other, we turn outward to practice tikkun olam. Once you are a part of the Jewish community, you are always a member of the family.

I am also marked by my queerness. I didn’t always think my Judaism and my queerness were compatible, but I have found acceptance in almost every Jewish space I enter. And, there are Jewish communities in which I am not safe. Similarly, it has been within the queer community that I have experienced the most virulent anti-Semitism, to which I have tried to respond with educational resources and patience.

There are queer communities that need to accept Jews, and there are Jewish communities that need to accept queer folks. And how many others, facing oppression and exclusion, need to be brought into true community? Tikkun olam means building community and sharing it with your neighbors, regardless of their identities. Communities work when they make room for everyone.

Nick Montoni grew up in Charlotte, North Carolina, attending services and religious school at Temple Beth El. Nick moved to Seattle to pursue and complete a doctorate, but has always kept Charlotte and Temple Beth El in his heart.