In last week’s ReformJudaism.org e-mail, the feature article was about the National Day of Unplugging that took place last Shabbat. The idea was simply to put away the electronic communications from sundown on Friday until sundown on Saturday. I’m sure many people were horrified. After all, how can anyone in the 21st century possibly survive in an unconnected world?!
The irony is that those people remain connected to everything except the people they’re with and the moment they’re living in. Why would we be consumed by people and events from towns, states, or continents far away and deflect attention from the people in the room with us? And what is so terrifying about a peaceful pause in our day, or having a few minutes of quiet reflection? Is a moment where we are not distracted by external input really so scary?
We all have our “favorites.” The car holding up traffic while the driver creeps backwards out of a parking space with the steering wheel in one hand and the cell phone in the other. The business call in a crowded airport lounge.
Personally, I love the texting in the steam room. Doesn’t that totally defeat the purpose? (And that can’t be good for the phone, can it?) Is spending a few moments lost in your own thoughts that frightening or that boring?
One of the things I most appreciate about one of my closest friends is that he never takes a call or answers a text when we’re together. Occasionally I notice by the look on his face that the phone in his pocket must have buzzed — but he never reaches for it until we start to go our separate ways. There are others who are incessantly responding to text messages while talking to me. If I’m so much less interesting than those people at the other end of the texts, why are you wasting your time with me?
I used to think that if I could go back in history and get rid of one person, it would be the person who invented the men’s necktie. Now I think it would be the person who invented “Reply All.” (Enough said.)
Now I can’t deny that staying connected with those at a distance isn’t satisfying in some way. My sister has a great sense of humor and often brightens my day with an impromptu (and often inappropriate) text. Some of the most important people in my life are far away, and contact with them warms my heart. But when I find myself more engaged with the person on the other end of the electronics rather than at the other end of the room, I am quickly reminded that I am missing out on the most fulfilling of personal relationships: the one directly across from me right now. That’s when I realize that I need to hang up the phone in order to be truly connected.
